I had a very insightful conversation with my colleague about pens, yes, pens. I don't know if this is just a female thing, but often you will hear women say, "Oh, I love a GOOD pen," then the conversation progresses into what kind of pen is their preference. In this dialogue with different people, you will learn everyone's preferences vary. I told her I love a specific type of gel pen; she said, "Bre, I like those ballpoint pens that we used to get at conferences." Instantly, I was like?! I only keep conference pens as a souvenir. She asked me what I liked about my favorite pen because, to her, it was so simple.
The pen isn't unique. It doesn't come with a case and can be found at OfficeMax. I excitedly expressed how smooth it was and how it glides across the paper so effortlessly. That is some DEEP thinking for a pen, right? For two years, I survived off of two boxes of pens, and when I was down to my last one, I decided to search for more of the same pen. During my search, I discovered the pens are no longer in distribution. That's that hurt. A brief anxiety settled in; I wanted MY pens back. I've claimed ownership over something that isn't mine; I didn't create the pen. Through common knowledge, I knew someday the ink in my last pen would run out. I used my current pen sporadically to ensure the ink wouldn't run out as fast to hold on to it a little longer. So far, we've learned two things: what I'm holding on to is no longer available, and there's little ink left in my current pen. Well, I kept writing with it, and one day, during an important meeting, as I was taking notes, the pen went out. To keep from missing an important detail, I picked up another pen and kept writing. The pen was of a completely different caliber, FROM A CONFERENCE (haha). I didn't notice the change in the pen because the need was fulfilled. Had I stopped to focus on the minute details of the pen, I would've missed an essential piece of the meeting. Minor details matter; however, in situations where a job has to get done, focusing on the bigger picture and result is more advantageous.
When we experience a significant shift, we don't realize what we need to change until after we're in the midst of it. Most of my readers know almost two years ago, I decided to pick up and move to another state. Yes, 627 miles away from my family, my friends, my comfort zone. I love everything about home (Georgia). I fell victim to a lot of mental attacks. One day, during one of my episodes, everything just clicked. I was trying to bring my old ways into a new territory. Instead of adjusting by picking up a new way of thinking, living, breathing, and EATING, I was trying to pour old wine into a new wineskin (Mark 2:22). It was hard to realize nothing had changed about Briana's story and who she is.
Still, I had to position myself to receive all of the greatness this stage of life has to offer. We have to treat life as I have with these pens. Had I paused to look for a pen that I wanted, I would have missed a crucial detail that needed to be written down. To finish the pen story, I was out and had to write something down. I grabbed the pen that was available to me and began to write. The infamous "Oh, this is a good pen" rolled off my tongue, and the person before me said, "I don't like that kind of pen. You can have it." I looked up and said no, this is a good pen. It would be best if you wrote with it, for real. Long story short, they gave me the pen, and it is BETTER than what I grew accustomed to in the past.
As I wrap this post up, I want to leave you with the message. When the ink runs out, pick up a new pen and keep writing. You can't take an old attitude to new places and expect different results. God will remove the one thing you have become familiar with and replace it with something better, even while we're enduring the seasonal shift. It seems nothing significant will happen. One day, unexpectedly, you will receive something better. Don't be afraid to let go, realign, and readjust to the current circumstances. Position yourself to receive the new thing God is doing. What is coming is more significant than what has been because better is the end of a thing than the beginning.
The ink may have run out, but I kept writing.